Who am I, and why is this here?

If you're reading this page, you've stumbled here by accident, or I gave you the link on purpose.  If it's the latter, it's most likely that I think you've a very open-minded person whose head won't explode at what is typed below.

I've thought about this question many times, and I like to think that I add to the beauty of the world around me in my own little way.  I remember growing up that I didn't think that I was "just like everyone else".  I had my own tastes and likes, like most people do.  I never really got into sports much, even though I played basketball a couple of times, and did track.....it just wasn't my style.  I relished in the arts and music studies, and often times wished I could learn even more.  I grew up in the 80's, so of course, I spent more time than I probably should have in arcades and inventing my own trouble (the town I grew up in wasn't big enough to have it's own, so I had to make my own).  I guess you could say outwardly I was like most, although I didn't get in with many of the people there outside of those who considered me something weird to be around (yes, that happened a lot).  I ended up hiding some of my vices in life from other people, including my parents, and then when I moved out on my own, I was finally able to break some of the restraints that held me back.

There was a summer in 1986 when my mother (bless her heart) dropped me off at my friend Stephen's place and said "I can't do anything with him anymore.  See if you can get through to him".

That started the many changes in my life right there.  Although some may deny it, I truly believe it to be my huge turning point.  I stopped fearing what others thought of me, because as long as I was hiding myself from the world, then I knew I'd be miserable a lot of the time, and not feel truly fulfilled.  A lot of it had to do with experimenting with outward change, and the first time I did this was the fateful night that Stephen asked me that one........single.......inquiry...........

"Can I do something interesting with your hair?"

Yep....that was it.  That was what started the whole thing!  As odd as it may sound, it was true!  I saw the result of what he had done, and started experimenting with fashion, makeup, accessories, and anything else I could get my hands on.  It was like that crimping iron loosened the binds on my personality and thus freed my inner personality to finally come through at last!  I used to curse my curly hair, and I always looked for ways of flattening it out, and now I'm a real "big hair" person, although the crimping iron is still one of my close friends. :-)

It was also a time when I had lost some close friends, because they were still of the mindset that "I'm not gonna be seen around you like THAT!", so off they went.  It was a sad time to be sure, but it also toughened me up some too.  It further reinforced the belief that you have to love yourself first, and then see what happens after that.

I've worked many jobs in my life as well, and have learned one thing from a majority of them.  For some innane reason, whatever position you're in, as long as you deal with the public, most of them are of the mindset that the universe revolves around their anus, and you are at least three levels lower on the evolutionary ladder than they are.  It's true!  Just go anywhere like a fast-food place or a retail chain, and just watch!  You'll see it!  One nice thing though, is it toughens your resolve, and thickens your skin, which has helped me to deflect the slings and arrows that people have tossed my way over the years.

My main loves in life are art, music, fashion, and things from Japan. 

I've always been a "doodlebug", drawing on pretty much anything from a scrap of paper to a napkin, to a piece of wood.  I have many sketchbooks that I have doodled in over the years, and I'm actually now getting back to being one again.  The computer age has spoiled me something serious, so I need to get back, back, back to my ROOOOOOOOOOTS and learn things again.  Someday I'll be going through my sketchbooks and putting up those that I'm most proud of, so look around from time to time!

Music is another love of mine.  You've heard of the "Top 40", right?  Well, I go for the "bottom 260", since most of the really awesomely energetic, move your soul music is down there!  Believe me, it's true.  Wanna know a great experiment?  Go to any music store and browse the CD's for the ART that strikes your inner fancy, and buy it.  You'll be pleasantly surprised at how many times you find something you truly like!  I've done it HUNDREDS of times, and missed VERY rarely!  I've found that those artists who take the time to make a really nice cover also took the time to make a really nice album.  I'll admit to be "lost in the 80's", mainly because it's true.  If I find a new, obscure sound though, I may just love it as much as my new wave loves.

I have actually labelled myself as a "Fashion Freestyler", since I really don't care what store I'm in, as long as it has something I'm looking for.  Anyone who asks me what I think is good fashion usually thinks I'm shopping for someone other than myself, because to me there is no "men's" or "women's" section, but just oodles and oodles of awesome clothes!  There are no boundaries where I'm concerned.  As long as I love it, and I can wear it, then it's MINE!  I'm tired of women hogging all the really nice stuff.........I want some too!  Needless to say that's one thing some people seem to have a problem with me about, but I figure HEY......if they can't handle it, then they can just look the other way, right?  I think those people in victorian times had the right idea to begin with.  People nowadays just have no sense of style and elegance!  Fashion is supposed to be about STYLE people!  If you have seen Pete Burns from Dead or Alive, you would not recognize him as opposed to how he was back when he was spinning people like a record, but he does NOT think of himself as a drag queen, genderfuck, or transvestite....he is his OWN person!  I LOVE THAT!  It's the perfect statement for this day and age.  There should be no gender barriers!  This is the 21st century, not the 11th!

Japan.....ahhhh....LOVELY country!  They have the best culture, food, and anime!  I think there is no one other country that has put out quite as much different stylings of animation than Japan!  They have a "no holds barred" approach to anime, and if you explore all facets of it, then you already know why.  Some of the funnest music comes from Japan, like my favourite singer, Mari Iijima.  She just has this style and musing about her that is just a delight to hear, and see, and experience.  I took a year of Japanese in college and learned quite a bit, but unfortunately there was only the one class, and no other places to learn here.  Anyone have lessons for sale?  Please?

Oh....you wanted to know what "SQ X" was about, didn't you?  Well, my self-given nickname is "ShockQueen", which pretty much means what it says.  I have done drag and what RuPaul calls "genderfuck" many times, and I don't think the traditional drag queen stylings do it for me, so I twist it around with some new wave and gothic stylings, along with some supernatural tendencies, and thus....THE RESULT!  The "X" part is part Gen-X, part X-treme, and........it's the 10th re-doing of my site, so......roman numeral X.  Simple, no?

So if what you read doesn't sit well with you, then you shouldn't even be here.  If you judge based on what you see, and not what you know about the person, then you probably won't like being here either.  This is my world.  I welcome you to stay if you wish, but please....leave the muddy shoes at the door.

SQ